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The Baisballs - The Bais Abraham Softball Team

WHILE HIS HANDS WERE HELD UP THE BAISBALLS WERE WINNING FOR HALF AN INNING

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Praiseworthy is he/she who has watched the Baisballs play;

Praiseworthy is he/she who returned to watch another day!

Psalm 151

A psalm of Baisball:

Aviva played catcher and Bais number two,

            On that warm day, with a sky so blue.

Bryce played Bais three, rested after a snooze,

            His mind distracted by this week’s Schmooze.

CRC beat us last week, yet we played them once more,

            It was de ja vu, like we’d done this before.

Down a man, Shane “the Train” Graber would miss our defeat.

            He left us for New York and all its kosher meat.

Everyone was ready, our nerves had grown tough,

            To learn a life lesson: “when your best just isn’t good enough.”

Friends came to watch, to our surprise,

            They comforted us upon our demise,

Gabe Douek played first and threw some heat,

            And Keren brought yummy pretzels to eat.

However we crunched the numbers and used mathematical tricks,

            We couldn’t make twelve less than six.

“i’ is defined as the square root of negative one,

            if we’d scored that many we just might have won.

Justice was served, and we didn’t cheat, neither,

            Not that we didn’t try, we just aren’t good at that either.

Kippahs went flying when we swung the bat,

            They gave our opponents something to catch.

Lessons were learned, we’ve grown up a gob,

            Next year we’re going to outsource this job.

“Many will play, few will win,”

            If only we’d read the fine print before we dove in.

Never mind these regrets, our future is clear,

            We will keep playing until the end of the year.

On our minds are on the playoffs, which every team makes,

            Maybe, just maybe if we make no mistakes…

Perhaps we can go all the way, with magnificent playing,

            Or maybe we are forgetting the immortal saying:

“Quitters never win, and a winner will never quit,

            but one who never wins AND never quits is an idiot.”

Rabbi Shafner played well and blessed our mission,

            And then we were pounded into submission.

Stu “the Jew” Klamen, our righteous anointed,

            Played like a pro, we were not disappointed.

Too bad the scouts saw him and made such a fuss,

            But can’t hire him; he’s got to read Torah for us.

Unless you have great teammates like those from our Shul,

            You might find they’re impatient and can’t keep their cool.

Victory may be elusive, and glory vain,

            But those are vices we would gladly entertain.

Winners or losers, we’re all the same in the end,

            Except that the winners are better, my friend.

Xylophone.

Yes, we’ll keep playing, no matter the cost,

            Just don’t keep on asking if we won or lost.

Zack “the Attack” Gonsher, pitched a wonderful game,

            And Zev “Three-hit” Fredman left nothing to shame.

Zealously have I pursued this acrostic with rhyme,

            You’d think I was getting paid for all this time.

From the week of June 28:

From the week of June 11:

40 years ago, centuries of waiting witnessed the re-unification of
 Jerusalem . Of equivalent magnitude, the Bais Abe "Baisballs" knew that June
 10 th  was to be the end of our longing for sweet, sweet victory. It was not
 to be. In a split double header we lost first to the Temple Israel
 "Not-as-clever-a-name-as-'Baisballs'" and then crushingly again to the
 Temple Emanuel "Also-not-as-clever-a-name-as-'Baisballs.'" We can only
 reflect and continue to wait for our Redemption.
  Several stellar performances were nonetheless delivered. Zev Fredman
 (a.k.a. "The Big Kahunna") threw two consecutive outs at the plate from
 center field. Aviva Reznikov made great plays at what seems like every base
 and with her bat, prompting several players to sit down in boredom. Stu, our
 righteous anointed captain, delivered the heat at shortstop. Excellent
 offense was also provided by Cheryl Grosman. Even our beloved Rav Hyim
 Shaffner blessed our endeavor, although some were suspicious he was actually
 praying for rain. Also, at one point, he drew a circle in the grass,
 prompting fears that he was going to let "G-d keep whatever fly balls He
 wants."
  And yet it was not enough. We asked fervently that our runners be "gathered
 home from the 4 bases of the field" and to "renew our score as of old," but
 we were not answered. Shane Graber added, while packing his pitching arm in
 ice, "could a few daughters of  Zion notice and rejoice?"
  We want to wish a Refuah Shelema to Bryce Mendelsohn's hand and especially
 to Zack Gonsher, who earned the honorable recognition as the first Baisball
 to shed blood for our cause. To quote Zack, "you shoulda seen the other
 guy."